AS you know if you have been following for any time, our progress has been hampered–nay, plagued–by mighty winds and terrible seas and krakens of ye deep as Poseidon reminds us over and over like the tedious sod he is why our ancient ancestors fought their way, flopping and gasping, onto the primordial mudflats in search of some relief from these godawful oceans.

Traditionally, a good measure of booze is dumped into the sea upon launch in order to appease Poseidon, but apparently, the half bottle of Veuve Cliquot we poured over the bowsprit wasn’t up to snuff (ungrateful bastard). So in defiance, we have mounted our Juju-Man on the ship’s bell, where he maintains constant watch, except that he can’t really be relied upon to steer so good.

So up yours Poseidon, you big stinker.