From: PetPlanet.co.uk <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Tue, Jun 3, 2014 at 8:00 PM
Subject: A Feedback Request From PetPlanet.co.uk
We hope the product that we despatched a couple of weeks ago arrived safely and is being put to good use.
Corner Kitty Litter Box with Door
If you have a picture of your pet enjoying any of these products and you would be happy for us to feature it on our website* then please email it to email@example.com. Please include a brief caption of 200 characters or less that we can use to title the picture. We will notify you if we choose to use your picture (normally as a ‘supplementary image’ alongside the main product image). Even if we don’t use your image, it really cheers us up in the office when we can see customers’ pets enjoying our products!
We thank you in anticipation.
PetPlanet Customer Services
Thank you for your interest in customer feedback and request for a picture of my pet enjoying the product we ordered, the Corner Kitty Litter Box with Door.
While the humans really like the fact that the litter box fits neatly under the counter in a corner of our utility room, Pooks is particularly pleased by the privacy afforded by the handy swinging door.
Pooks is also delighted to share with you a photo of himself enjoying the litter box, as you requested. However, for privacy concerns, he would request that if you feature this photo on your website, you do not use his name; he’s a bit shy about that kind of public exposure of his toilet habits.
I do hope that this email cheers up your office. It certainly cheered up mine.
ONE of the nice things about living in Pretensington is the fact that we can walk to the Victoria and Albert Museum, or the V&A to anyone who is remotely pretentious, or English, which is the same thing to us Yanks.
The Chihuly, while incredible, is a strange contrast to all the other old stuff England stole.
All that museum going will give a person a thirst, though. Luckily, we live only a 15-minute walk from the Thames river walk, where a ridiculously old pub (1722 – seriously, that’s older than my country) serves up a mean pint. Needless to say, despite the fact that it’s heaving on a sunny day, we’ve been here a few times. While we drink our pints and sit on the river wall, we watch a diligent couple working on their sailboat docked right outside the pub, sighing with a mixture of envy, nostalgia, and pure, unadulterated relief that we’re not on a fucking boat anymore.
Yep. That’s a Ferarri covered in gold plastic.
WHEN we were planning the move to London, and everyone was warning us about insane rents, I did actually say at one point, “Well, it’s not like we’re going to live in Kensington or anything.”
Then, through an astounding turn of luck, we found a fabulous garden flat two blocks from my work, that just happens to be in — you guessed it — West Kensington. We’re sandwiched between Brook Green and Kensington proper, in a neighborhood that aspires to be Kensington but doesn’t quite make it. Thus, Pretensington.
But it’s trying hard. Seriously, at The Bird in Hand, our ‘local,’ you couldn’t find bangers and mash or a steak and kidney pie to save your life, but the pizza comes with truffle oil and porcinis. Ridonkadonk.
But that two block walk to work? Pretty damn awesome. And what a gorgeous spot, too.
This is right across the street from my work. Could you get any friggin’ more English if you tried?
Brook Green, the lovely, lovely park my work is on. Not a bad place to amble during a ‘walking meeting.’
The secret garden courtyard just outside our building. Fantastic place for post-work wine.