Psst! Over here!

Hi. I’d like to introduce myself, very quietly so I don’t get noticed. I’m a can of Maryland’s Best lager beer, animated by the unholy combination of mold, corrosion and science. The humans are asleep at the moment, so I’ve l33tly haxxored their interwebs to document my far more interesting adventures. Probably you are asking how a can of alleged beer has l33t haxxoring skills: well, I spent an unhealthy amount of time in my mom’s basement, and it just kind of sunk in. Also, I’m not the one asking questions of a can of beer, so maybe look to the plank in your eye for a change, huh?

Anyhoo. So I was just a can of some frothy cat piss someone has the gall to call “lager” until a few months ago, when comic-book science gave me mad blogging/adventuring skillz. I decided then that the life of the open waves was for me and stowed away in the bilge of the good ship Picaroon (that’s me in the center, next to the giant black double ended dildo). Of course, when I first stowed “away”, I didn’t figure that these losers would still be here five months later.

Darn! Here comes one of those damn cats! Better make like a tanner and hide. Laterz, bytchizz.